Continuing on to the next question on Lifelong's list...
What is the situation with the rest of your family?
Adoption had come up over the years- Mom had hinted at it, I'd talked with people about it casually- but it was something I kept to myself for the most part while I was really thinking about it. When I told Mom and Dad I was ready to get serious about it, I think that it was all they could do not to say "About time!!" As Mom told me a few months later, she had to try very hard not to push me too much about it. (I am one of those types who needs time to plan it out and consider things before making a big decision. If someone is pushing me into something, I dig my heels in. And Mom wants what is best for me and isn't afraid to say it, even if I'm not ready to hear it.)
That conversation was in December, and I spent the next few weeks researching companies and sorting out what the best path forward was. Eventually, I found Lifelong and Mom and Dad have been with me all along, sitting in on calls and making sure I'm asking the right questions and not missing anything. They've helped research things, they've helped me with my profile, gathered pictures, taken pictures, and helped with my video.
They live very close by, and Mom is already planning to be my babysitter a few days a week for when the baby is here. (Dad will help too- he is all in on this too.)
But they aren't the only ones who have been supportive. Shortly after the initial call with Lifelong, I went down to Florida with my Mom and her two sisters to visit my brother. Ronald does not want children of his own, but has always known I do- he's been 100% behind me the whole time. (I've already picked out what the baby will wear the first time he gets to meet them- he actually laughed when he saw it on my registry list, despite his best efforts not to.)
Mom's side of the family- two aunts and their husbands, a total of four cousins and their four children were next on the list. They've all been so excited to help. Both aunts have sent me a lot of stuff for the baby, from hand-me-down books and toys to an extra car seat and a bassinet. My uncles are happy for me too, they are just not as talkative about it. Unfortunately one aunt and uncle relocated from living nearby to living out in Oregon, so I don't get to see them as much anymore, but we still talk and my aunt asks for updates every time.
The cousins on that side of the family have been supportive too. They're all fond of kids, and two of them have two each. Cousin D lives in Texas with her husband and her 2 year old and one month old (New Year's baby!) but we usually catch up whenever she makes her way home to visit with the family. I can't wait to meet the newest addition to the family!
The other three are still in state, but live all over. J is the oldest cousin on that side, and has a boy and a girl of her own. I grew up babysitting her, and it's still a bit odd sometimes to see her eight and six year old kids. the highlight of my last summer was when the six year old stayed with me for a few days. B was getting over being sick so was a bit quieter than normal, but we still had a great time together. I am hoping to get another chance to see both kids (and their Mom) soon, but scheduling is always difficult.
Cousins C and T are kind of like my uncles- if I'm happy for something, they're happy for me. (But both are great with kids- Cousin C is a regular with J and her two kids, and Cousin T is all of the kids favorite.)
On Dad's side of the family, I have an uncle and his wife, and an aunt. Aunt L had two children, my cousins T and J, who between them have seven children ranging from about 3 to 8. T is my oldest cousin and I was a bridesmaid in her wedding. She and her husband bought a house with my aunt (T's mom), and also with my grandfather, and they all lived together until he passed away.
Having Bumpa staying with them brought us together after several years of intermittent contact, and I'm pleased to say that that side of the family is are much closer now than ever. T has been super supportive in particular - she helped me with my profile, with filling out all of the home study paperwork, and just talking through a bunch of things. She has also been kind enough to pass down a beautiful crib to me, and a few other odds and ends.
Uncle R and Aunt K are childless by choice, but are, again, happy if I'm happy. They've always been extremely supportive of all of us, though my uncle will admit that he much prefers children when they're older. He's 100% okay with never having changed a diaper- but my young cousins all run to him and his wife when they're around. They treat kids like mini adults in a good way, and the kids love it and them.
We get together with that side of the family about once a month or so at least, and I love spending the time with all of them, but especially the kids. Little Cousin A sat next to me at our last dinner, and we chatted and all through dinner. I was very disappointed when we had to part ways for the night- she's a sweetheart. (So are the other kids, but they wanted to sit by their mom, dad, and grandma so I didn't get to talk with them as much. Though I did get smiles and hugs out of all of them when I gave them a piece of chocolate after dinner.)
All of my grandparents have passed away now, unfortunately, but I still have my Great Aunt S and Great Uncle D. They are the sweetest old couple in the world. Aunt S has crocheted several blankets through the years, and I'm hoping that she'll be able to make one for the baby- she does beautiful work. I have two that she's made for me, and treasure them.
I think that sums up the family- they're all anxious for the an update from me, and want this to happen (almost) as much as I do.
I have friends in a variety of life situations. S adopted her oldest, and has been my sounding board for when I get frustrated by the process- she's been there and through this all before. She and K, another friend, have heard more about it than most of my other friends simply because we work together and the opportunities to talk are more frequent. They're both looking forward to meeting the baby, and are already offering to back me up if I need time off for the baby, or if I need to duck in and out of the office to run the baby around somewhere.
D and M are also friends, and are totally in the loop on what's going on and have been amazing. It's a bonus because they are technically my manager and the next level manager. I got very lucky in that I consider them all true friends and work just happens to bring us together.
Outside of work, I've recently reunited with my HS best friend, who has two kids of her own with her husband. It's been great reconnecting with her, since we practically lived in each other's pocket's from fifth grade until we went to different colleges and time had it's way with us.
Two other long term friends are childless for now, but supportive. One has moved out of state to be with her boyfriend, the other is local, and we get together about once a month, the out of state friend joining us on occasion.
The last of my support group is my dear friend J, who I've only known for a few years. She's funny and sweet, and 100% supportive. She's going to make a great "aunt".
I keep saying that they're all supportive, and I really mean it. I haven't had anyone who thinks I'm making a mistake. At worst, they've reminded me that it's not an easy path to be a single mother, but then they've thrown themselves into supporting me.
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